Light At The End Of The Tunnel

GRIEF

Over the century’s human beings and the World around them have been on the path of constant evolution and change. From living in houses made of clay, stone and timber to living in the houses made of concrete, bricks and even glasses, from sending letters via post to dropping a text on the social networking applications and sites, from wearing any cloth to cover yourself to wearing the most expensive brand you can afford so you can show yourself off, times have truly changed, but even with these changes two things have always been constant in the history of mankind, that is: Pain, and Grief.

Grief

We humans find depressing stuff way more relatable than the happy stuff, which is sad and really unfortunate but it is also very true.

This is also the reason why we get jealous of other people’s happiness; it is not that we don’t want others to succeed, it is just that we want that for ourselves too. Each and every one of us have fought a silent battle happening within ourselves to survive in this cold-hearted world, and all of us have been through excruciating pain and grief from time to time.
Some of us have experienced the death of a loved one, some of us has lost the job we worked so hard for, some of us have been through the most painful break up and have given up on the idea of love, some of us have been raised in an abusive household, some of us have had near death experiences and now we live in constant paranoia and fear, but most of us are just tired and all we want is just one moment of peace, just that one moment where our heart is not breaking time and again, and where our mind is not fighting to survive but is actually breathing to live.
It sounds nice, doesn't it? Just thinking about this moment brings a faded smile on our faces. As much as this sounds nice it also seems difficult, but it is also achievable all we have to do is go through five extremely agonizing stages of GRIEF, which are:

STAGE 1- DENIAL

The first and the most painless yet dangerous stage of grief, sometimes the magnitude of a trauma is so large that we build a fortress around ourselves mentally and even physically which keeps us isolated from the pain of that trauma.

This fortress is so comfortable and so pleasant that coming out of it is almost impossible. Unfortunately, this fortress of solitude gets destroyed sooner or later and when that happens the magnitude of the trauma intensifies by a thousand, and we enter the second stage of grief.

STAGE 2- ANGER

After popping out of our bubble of denial we enter the stage of being filled with a monstrous amount of rage and anger. Every noise and every movement make us angry; we see a side of ourselves we haven’t seen before.

We start hitting people, we start smashing things, and we start blaming others, but we pick up fights with others so that they can hit us as hard as they can, because we believe that we deserve that kind of treatment, we start smashing things because those things are a constant reminder of the part of our life we have lost, we start blaming others because blaming ourselves is too hard and real, and it pushes us to the next stage of grief. 

STAGE 3- BARGAINING

As we enter this stage, guilt takes over our anger. We constantly question ourselves with thoughts such as: - what more we could have done to avoid this, would spending more time or putting more effort change the situations.

We start putting the word ‘IF’ in front of our sentences: - IF I would have picked her up from the bus stop, then maybe she wouldn’t have gotten stabbed and bleed to death on the road, IF I was a little more sensitive to his feelings and respected him then maybe he and I would have been still together, IF I studied for maybe two more hours, then maybe I could have cracked my exam.

This leads to feeling like a complete failure, and a burden to everyone else. With this feeling we enter the second last stage of GRIEF.

STAGE 4- DEPRESSION

This is the deadliest stage of grief. Many people lose the battle they have been fighting for so long in this stage, they give up exactly when they are hardly an inch away from attaining that moment of peace that they have been longing for so long.

Depression is often known as “Silent Killer” because it eats you away little by little, just like a leech that feeds on our blood depression feeds on our mind and its energy. Depression can be like running on a never-ending infinity loop, it can make every breathing moment insufferable and it can definitely push someone to take a drastic step such as suicide to end their turmoil.

Depression can be scary, messy, overwhelming, and it may feel like the end, but with the right help it can be managed. A lot of people have coped up with depression in healthier ways, but if you need help do not hesitate, and do not think that you don’t deserve anyone’s help because that is absolutely untrue.

You have been fighting all alone for a while and that makes you worthy of everyone’s help; you deserve to get better and you deserve to lead a good life. Take a moment, breathe and look at what you’ll be giving up if you decide to give up, and besides you didn’t go through all of that other ugly emotions for nothing. And now we enter the last stage of grief.

STAGE 5- ACCEPTANCE

This doesn’t necessarily mean that you will finally be happy, it doesn’t mean that the grief isn’t there anymore, it simply means that you have accepted the loss of that part of your life.

It means now you are one step closer to start living and two steps farther from surviving. It means you are trying: trying to be a better person, trying to be a kind person, trying to appreciate everyone and everything in your life.

You feel very different in this stage which is expected, you are still grieving, and you are still thinking about your past but with the hope of having a little better future. There may still be bad days, and that is okay, always remember that there will be good days too.

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